24
Jan
2008
Tony Romo’s Guide to Breaking Up
There are certain situations in which you have to put your sports rivalry hatred aside, sit back, and enjoy a funny story. This is one of those times. As you know, I am no fan of Tony Romo’s or the Dallas Cowboys. I hate both of them very, very much. But I heard about this story and had a hell of a laugh because it is so ridiculous.
As everyone on earth knows, Tony Romo has been dating Jessica Simpson. They went off to Mexico before NFC Divisional round, a round in which Romo’s Cowboys lost. Recently however, rumors had been circulating that Romo is trying to break it off with Simpson. Before I continue, let me give you a flashback story:
When Tony Romo tried to break up with Carrie Underwood (his previous girlfriend), she was upset and intent on making it work. He called her over for dinner one night. She came to his house expecting some sort of romantic ordeal. Instead, Romo had a microwave dinner while sitting on his couch infront of the TV. That was the end of Romo-Underwood.
Now back to today. So Romo apparently called Simpson while she was in LA around the 17th or 18th of January. He tried to break up with her. She knew it’d be a PR disaster for her to be dumped by the star quarterback from Texas. She wasn’t having that.
Fine. Tony Romo asked her to come to his house in Texas. He told her they’d be going on a trip. Now, if you’re Simpson, you’ve got to be thinking the trip is going to be somewhere like the Bahamas, Jamaica, or some exotic island.
False.
Tony Romo took Jessica Simpson on a HUNTING TRIP! Yes. A hunting trip. Now, for those who don’t know, when you hunt down a deer for example, you go up to its dead body, cut its belly open and take out all the guts. Then you carry the gutted carcass back to your truck and then to your cabin. You rip off all the skin and then you hang the meat so that all the blood drains off of it. After that, you cut it up and freeze it. There’s no television, no paparazzi, no masseuse, no fancy restaurants. Try and imagine the uncomfortable feelings Simpson must have been feeling.
So now, reportedly, Romo and Simpson are no more. Chalk up a win for Romo. Hilarious.
Jessica Simpson + Hunting = ???
