The Sports Rumors

Since today is boring…

Since there isn’t that much stuff going on today in sports, and because I had quite a bit of work to do at the office and couldn’t make time to do research for my NFL previews, I have decided to post a chat I had with a friend today over instant messenger. I found it amusing and instead of posting nothing, I figured this could amuse you all for a few minutes too. It’s long but funny and face it, it’s not like you got much else to do anyway. Enjoy.

(Preface: My friend is barbaric. Imagine speaking to a caveman)

Me: who’s your favorite sports player ever

Me: just out of curiosity

Me: I’ve always wondered

Me: well not always

Friend: any sport?

Me: but .. recently

Me: yeah

Friend: either Ruth or DiMaggio

Friend: probably DiMaggio

Friend: sweet player, tragic figure

Me: is Emmitt your favorite football player?

Friend: yeah

Me: coach?

Friend: jimmah (Jimmy Johnson)

Me: favorite college player

Me: ever?

Friend: #3 (Bryan Randall)

Me: team other than Virginia Tech

Friend: utenn

Me: favorite color

Friend: haha what is this?

Friend: maroon

Me: favorite season?

Me: don’t be gay and say football

Friend: wabbit season

Me: seriously man

Me: what’s your f**king favorite season!

Friend: winter

Me: favorite daytime activity

Friend: I lift weights

Friend: what is this seriously?

Me: nothing I’m just trying to get to know u better

Me: what’s your favorite type of food?

Me: meaning Italian, Japanese, Chinese, American etc

Friend: I don’t really have a favorite food

Me: really?

Friend: yeah

Me: so which would u prefer though if u had to choose?

Me: like

Me: if I say (Friend) lets go grub, you call the place

Friend: I don’t really like to eat out

Me: ok when u eat at home

Me: what do u eat?

Friend: I mean I like wings and whatnot but I don’t like to eat out all that much

Friend: umm

Friend: varies. I eat a lot of chicken, potatoes, and peanut butter sandwiches

Me: ok so American then

Me: pretty much

Friend: I guess

Friend: I put a lot of spice on stuff though

Me: haha that’s my boy

Me: so what kind of traits do u look for in your partner? Appearance wise

Me: brown hair blonde hair what

Friend: haha man (other friend’s) mom was asking me these questions

Me: hahahahahahah

Me: dude just tell me!

Friend: I like redheads

Friend: not gingers though

Me: what’s a ginger

Friend: red hair, copious freckles, super pale skin

Me: ew

Me: ok so just say yes or no if it’s a turn-on or not

Me: tongue ring

Friend: not really

Me: nightlife enthusiast

Me: (clubs etc)

Friend: in the past yes. rethinking sh*t now though

Me: great dancer

Friend: yeah, like I dance

Friend: false

Me: Asian

Friend: no aZnZ

Friend: ugh

Me: haha

Me: black

Me: ?

Me: honestly

Me: that’s a yes for you

Friend: well

Me: Latino?

Friend: caveat, they can’t be ghetto or whatnot

Me: yeah

Me: Persian

Friend: don’t see why not

Me: Euro?

Friend: meh

Me: Caucasian (American white)

Me: obviously yes for you.

Friend: depends where from

Me: do u like shy and quiet or outgoing and energetic

Friend: when I dated, I dated both types

Me: ok. Which do u prefer?

Friend: probably more outgoing

Me: ok

Me: and what time in the day is best to contact you?

Friend: MAN

Friend: WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Me: nothing man just liberalizing u

Friend: DO NOT SIGN ME UP FOR ONLINE DATING

Me: u now have a profile for AdultFriendFinder.com

Me: under gays

Friend: YOU F–KING GUY

Me: WHAT MAN

Friend: I WILL BREAK YOUR FACE

Me: JUST SEE HOW IT GOES

Me: MAYBE A DUDE WILL COME ALONG AND YOU’LL FANCY HIM!

Friend: man omg

Me: just give it some time

Me: see what kind of people contact u

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Friend: MAN GROSS

Me: HAHAHAHHAHAHA

Yeah we haven’t really grown up yet.